


Murphy's Laws

by Blackbird Wings (Blackbird_Wings)



Category: Hoshi no Kaabii | Kirby: Right Back at Ya!, Kirby - All Media Types
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Murphy's Law, Some descriptions of violence/injury, but nothing graphic, sod's law
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 21:38:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12944475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackbird_Wings/pseuds/Blackbird%20Wings
Summary: A collection of One-Shots based on Murphy's/Sod's Laws.Mostly contains adventures from Meta Knight's, Garlude's, and Jecra's time as part of the GSA, although Kirby and other Pupulanders may appear later, too. Genres vary between chapters.





	1. If It's Stupid, But It Works, It Isn't Stupid...

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help myself in writing these. Meta Knight is a badass nerd that must have gotten up to some hilarious misadventures before Popstar, with a rambunctuous Jecra (I don't know where this name for Knuckle Joe's dad came from, but it's stuck in my head), and a sassy Garlude.

“This is ridiculous” Meta Knight drawled.

“It is not!” Jecra's indignant cry rang out around the trio's make shift hiding spot. Garlude quickly turned from peering around the edge of the boulder cluster they were crouched behind and smacked the purple warrior on the back of the head.

“Shh! We are _hiding,_ Jecra!” And there she goes again, managing to growl and whisper at the same time. Sometimes Jecra and Meta Knight try and work out how she does it when they can’t sleep. It’s one of those great universal mysteries Meta Knight likes to read about.

Satisfied that the moron would be quieter, Garlude returns to her watch.

After pausing for a moment to make certain the scary-when-angry woman wouldn’t immediately turn around and smack him again, Jecra allows some time to scowl at the way Meta Knight manages to look smug even through his mask, “It _will_ work.” Jecra’s confidence would not be squashed by his, admittedly badass, midget companion.

Meta Knight fails to stop the sigh, “It's just a myth Jecra, they don't really do it.” He pauses, before sighing again in resignation, albeit with a dash of poorly contained humour. “But, if you're really set on it, don't complain to me the next time we pass through a town and you can't afford a drink.” Smug level: Intense.

“After this, you are going to owe me that drink.” The taller warrior huffed at the Knight, pulling out a gold coin before leaping up onto the boulder currently shielding them from enemy sight. The sight of several hundred, small rodent-like demon beasts, met him as they turned to gaze up at him, astonished at his sudden appearance. The beasts were small, weak, and undeniably stupid, but their numbers were not something to shake a stick at.

The area went deathly quiet in the moment of sudden shock and Jecra uses it to thrust his hand into the air, thousands of eyes following the gesture in bewilderment.

“LOOK!” Jecra exclaims, the blasting sunlight gleaming off the small reflective coin. _“SHINY!_ ”

Garlude's splutters of disbelief were drowned out by a collective entranced “ _OOH~”_ from the demons. Before they could regain their, rather small, thoughts. Jecra hurled the coin off the nearby cliff with one last, confidently shouted, _“FETCH!”_

Another, briefer, bout of baffled silence rattled through the area; well, except for Garlude's mumbles of dubiousness growing in volume. Then, as one. The demons scrambled after the coin in a mad dash, throwing themselves clear off the cliff's edge in their utter enthralment of getting the shiny object.

Those that hadn't heard Jecra or seen the coin, followed their brethren off the edge out of pure instinct until not one was left.

Leaving three, very, gob-smacked star warriors.

“I-I can't believe that worked” Jecra mumbled, Meta Knight and Garlude could only stare at the recently vacated cliff-top in weary disbelief. Regaining composure in a desperate scramble, the shield bearing warrior rounded on Meta Knight, “HA! I _told_ you that it would work! Lemmings _always_ jump off cliffs!”

Meta Knight and Garlude couldn’t even spare him a glance, still eyeing the expanse before them as Jecra laughed his way back to their make shift camp. Confidence rolling off him in obnoxiously loud waves.

“I-I thought that was just a myth.” Garlude managed weakly, voice cracking under the strain of what she had just witnessed.

Meta Knight sighed for the third time in as many minutes, “We're never going to hear the end of this.”

\--


	2. Make It Too Tough For The Enemy To Get In, And You Won't Be Able To Get Out...

Well, this was not how his plan was supposed to go.

How inconvenient.

With a grunt, Jecra slammed his shoulder against a pile of boulders that he couldn't see, in the vain hope his attempt might shift the weighty objects. “Ow...” he groaned pathetically, the stone blockade remaining firmly unmoved under the warrior’s ninetieth effort.

'Useless lumps of uselessness' he grumbled inside his head.

“This is _entirely_ your fault,” his comrade spoke in the darkness, the only light in the darkened chamber coming from the soft glow of his two amber eyes. Perfectly protected behind his silver mask of course. If the comment hadn't sounded so wry, Jecra might have laughed at the image of two floating eyes roaming around the darkness behind him. Well, laughed or screamed now that he thought about it; to be honest it sounded a bit terrifying.

Instead Jecra rolled his eyes. “How was I supposed to know they'd shoot another bunch of boulders in front of the ones we'd already dropped to keep them out, so that now we're stuck in this pitch black, cavernous hole?” His tone was borderline shrewish, sarcasm eating each syllable.

The eyes floated to his right as he rammed his other shoulder against the offending mass of stone, grunting at the contact and consequent throb of his shoulder. “You could help you know,” the taller fighter added dryly; the golden glow seemed to gain a pink tint of amusement at his failing efforts.

Meta Knight watched his friend through the dark, or at least listened to the area where he could hear his companion to be. “Oh no. I know a pointless effort when I see ...or rather... hear one. But you _will_ be explaining to Garlude why she had to dig us out.”

Jecra froze in the blackness, the sudden silence from his armour alerting the Knight of his actions. “Anything but that!” the man wailed, pounding on the cave in with every ounce of strength he had, “She'll never let me live it down!”

\--


	3. If Your Attack Is Going Really Well, It's An Ambush

Garlude was always warning Jecra not to get too confident in a battle, but something about the marvellous way her plan was coming together made it hard not to be a hypocrite. Glancing to her right, she caught a flash of golden as a purple blur rocketed down from the sky and took out several enemies in one long sweep, before returning to another area of undefeated demon beasts.

Jecra, to her left, was also clearing through his section of creatures with admirable ease. The pack they had encountered had been many times their size in numbers but that was quickly depleting.

Killing one last beast, she turned to greet the winged Knight as he also finished his section. “Well, a success. Don't you think?” she found it hard not to grin.

Jecra picked this moment to waltz over, sword resting on his right shoulder. “Damn right it was!”

Meta Knight's eyes flashed a sudden deep purple. “Erm...Garlude?”

The woman didn't hear him over Jecra's excited chatter, “and to think, I was worried this was a trap!” the yellow haired warrior laughed, sheathing his sword.

A blast of energy collided into the ground a few meters from Jecra's back.

Sighing, Jecra re-drew his sword, “I'll be quiet now” he groaned, tilting his head to look at the approaching wave of demon beast forces that had been waiting for them.

\--


	4. That Enemy Diversion You're Ignoring Is Their Main Attack

“Sir! An enemy force approaches from the front, they'll be within sight in a minute or two.” With a rushed salute, the small mouse like Star Warrior Pip scampered away from the group.

“Attacking from the front? That's bold even for Nightmare.” Meta Knight noted quietly, glancing at the ninja opposite him. Something about Yamikage put him on edge, he was an admirable warrior and though not exactly friendly, was companionable enough. But something about the way he _stared_ at the Knight left him uneasy. Meta Knight is a warrior that relies on honed skills and tactics above most anything else, but he also trusts his instincts. Something about that ninja grates.

Still, the ninja nods, “I agree, a diversion perhaps?” His deep voice gaining hesitant nods from Sir Arthur and Jecra.

Arthur sighed. “I've yet to know Nightmare attack without one when we've set up a strong hold like this. A diversion is how we'll treat this! Gather your squadrons and prepare a defensive perimeter all around camp, Yamikage will you send out scouts to find the main front?”

Yamikage didn't answer, but disappeared in a blast of smoke.

Coughing, Jecra pouted as he waved away the smoke, “Stupid Ninja, with their stupid smoke bombs.”

“ _Jecra_! You get to handle the diversion.” Sir Arthur reprimanded, growling at the younger warrior even as he complained to Meta Knight that the diversion wouldn't be a challenge.

Five minutes of uneasy restlessness in camp later…

“ _Meta Knight!!”_ Jecra all but screamed. “ _I take it back! Come help me_!”

Meta Knight sighed from his spot at the camp's right defensive line. “Not a diversion then...”

–


	5. Teamwork Is Essential; It Gives The Enemy Other People To Shoot At

“Are they _ever_ going to stop?!” Jecra whined, the barrage of energy shots was pounding the boulder they were sheltering against, the speed of them not allowing enough time to counter the three small, but powerful beasts responsible.

“Why don't you ask them!” the winged Knight snapped, slightly sore that one of the shots had been lucky enough to take off his sword sheath. It had come entirely too close to his wing that one, and the loss of his favourite sheathe had not left him in any sweet mood.

“I'll make you a new one, Meta Knight” Garlude adds somewhat dryly. _“When_ we get out of this, that is. We need to use teamwork here.” Her own slightly agitated tone managed to cool his temper a little, but not completely free it of spite.

Jecra grinned a little at Meta Knight's ire, it was hard to annoy Meta Knight to the point where he would snap at you. Jecra knew this intimately; it was his sole goal in life when the fighting lulled in camp, it was the best way for them both to remain sane in this stupid war.

Still, occasionally, Meta Knight's anger could morph into some… unpleasant consequences for the shield bearing warrior.

Still grinning, Jecra turned to the irate Knight. “What we need is a good distraction, a _fast_ one, at that.” He added suggestively; the three of them knew Meta Knight was the fastest, and making Meta Knight do all the hard work here was something Jecra was very much up to accomplishing.

So, what came next surprised him.

 _“Good idea,”_ the Knight snarled with a tone that was _entirely_ too pleased, shoving the yellow-haired warrior out of the shelter with is foot.

Jecra gave a shriek of surprise, his sudden appearance causing a brief halt in the onslaught of energy balls at the demon’s surprise, and it was just enough time for Jecra to regain his head, lunge forwards and quickly slice them apart.

Still a little stunned at what had happened, with his heart jack hammering away, Jecra turned to his previous shelter as his two companions appeared. Meta Knight appearing far too satisfied and Garlude far too amused.

Settling his adrenaline rush, Jecra gave them a shrewd glance, “that was cold Meta Knight even for you.” He drawled with a dramatic flair of unreal dejection at the end. “I could have been shot!”

“It was _fast_ wasn't it?” was all the Knight said, stalking his way passed his friend with an unmistakable air of ' _Come near me again right now, Jecra, and you will limp home.’_

Garlude laughs at Jecra's dejected expression. “He knew you would be fast enough. And really, that one _was_ your fault.”

–


	6. Never Draw Fire; It Irritates Everyone Around You

“Do you really think Jecra is all right?” Garlude asked the Knight quietly, peering out of the tree line they were currently concealed by, “Jecra's been gone for nearly ten minutes, all he had to do was scout the area.”

Meta Knight sighed to himself, “It's not Jecra I'm worried about, it's whatever he's going to drag us into I'm worried about. I could've sworn I heard him trying to draw something’s attention a moment ago.”

Garlude manages a smile up at the Knight perched a tree branch above her. “Do you remember last time, when he fell in that river and then the waterfall? He was only supposed to get some fire wood.”

“I wish I didn't remember, I am not a personal airship for that dolt to call upon every time he decides to fall off a cliff.” The Knight scowls, drawing a soft laugh from below him.

Smiling at the memory of a bedraggled Jecra being unceremoniously dumped on the floor by a seething Knight from several metres up, Garlude glanced back at her long-time friend, “Come now, you two are-”

Her teasing sentence was broken off by a series of explosions heading towards their location. The cause for them dashed out to greet them in the form of a puffing Jecra. “Ha, found you! Finally!”

Two, large, dragon-like demon beasts erupted from around the corner Jecra had appeared from.

“I thought you said you were _not_ going to draw their attention!” Garlude hollers in irritation, pulling out her sword before smacking the other warrior around the back of the head with the pommel.

“For once I would like you to come back without bringing something with you that wants to eat us.” Meta Knight dead-pans, gliding down from his perch to Jecra's other side. “But I suppose that's wishful thinking.” 

-


	7. If you Are Short Of Everything But The Enemy, You Are In The Combat Zone

“All right, so what do we have?” Meta Knight asked, his two comrades glancing dishearteningly at each other before looking back to the Knight. They were deep in enemy controlled land with no way to call reinforcements with the base camps radio damaged, and they were far from being well equipped. Not to mention pretty much surrounded by enemies.

Garlude sighed lowly, glancing about their arid location. “About, enough water for a day...” she paused to think, before eventually shrugging. “Nothing else. I lost my pack in the last attack.”

Jecra shrugs weakly. “I have a smoke bomb that I…borrowed...from Yamikage?”

Meta Knight fought the urge to sigh. It was a near thing. “Definitely in Nightmare territory then. I'm beginning to sense a pattern here.”  

Suddenly, Jecra's cracked radio piece crackled to life. “M-ta...-ght? Gar-ude? Jecra? C-n you hear me?” the static filled voice of Sir Arthur cleared a little as the trio shuffled to catch a better signal. “What is your location?”

Just then an explosion rang out in the same clearing, attracted by the signal coming from the radio.

“Did you just see that explosion?” Garlude asks dryly, drawing her sword.

“I see,” Arthur replied enduringly, glancing into the far distance to see a faint smoke cloud rising above the dead tree line. “Only you three could get so far into a combat zone by accident.”

Jecra held up his shield hand, even though Arthur couldn't see it, and drew his sword with the other. “For once though, completely not my fault.”

\--

 


	8. Getting Shot Hurts...

This wasn't how Meta Knight planned this day to end.

Well, who plans to have their day end by being shot out of the sky?

Not him at any rate.

Jecra had spotted his injured comrade falling from the sky and had cleared a path through the torrent of small fry demon beasts to get to the place where he predicted the Knight would land. Garlude had gone off with that sneak Yamikage to scout the East, and it was just the two of them here now.

Meta Knight's left wing had taken a full hit and was now unbearably painful to move. His right wing was not so incapacitated, and by spinning and twisting his weight onto his right, he managed to descend in a series of wide spirals, slowing his speed enough that the landing itself didn't add to his injury. After all, if you know how to fly, and you live life in a war zone, you will get yourself killed if you haven't practiced such free falls.

Jecra was by his side by the time he hit the ground, and no demon beast could get within three feet of him while he recovered himself as best he could. “Meta Knight! Are you all right?!”

The Knight glared at him, eyes flashing red through their previous pained shade of deep orange. It always makes telling whether the Knight is injured or not a pain in the ass, it’s so close to the usual gold.

“Getting shot _hurts, Jecra!”_ Meta Knight thunders.

The shield wielding fighter chuckles in relief, if the puff could be snarky, he was all right. “Well, anyone can lose focus in a battle, happens to the best of us,” he teases, poking fun while hacking a beast apart that gets too close to the Knight while he regains his feet.

Meta Knight growls as he unsheathes his sword, his wing stinging abominably, and while injured, he can't shield them with his cape. Still, his friend's irritating spiel helped to draw his attention from the blood running down the leathery skin. “I _do not lose_ my focus, Jecra.”

“Sure, you don't.” Jecra sings, obnoxiously, tossing a glance at him, now back to back with the Knight. It was a tight formation they had used many times when the other was injured. It’s easier to support their team mate's weakness if they were closer together. Meta Knight was too busy taking out the three beasts coming at his side to take notice of his friend's scrutiny.

– Two Hours Later--

The pair of star warriors limped back into the designated meeting point turned camp site, a small wilting glade carefully hidden from watchful eyes and difficult to find if you didn't know it already existed. Garlude jumped to her feet and rushed over, Yamikage merely rolling his eyes in irritation; this scene was one he had seen too often, although usually only one was limping.

“What happened?!” The lavender fighter exclaimed, examining the way Meta Knight's wing hung limply and Jecra's rather obvious limp, making him lean on the Knight to walk properly.

“Bright eyes got shot.” Jecra rushes dryly, eager to get a word in first.

Meta Knight glowers nastily, eyes flashing. “And this _idiot_ got himself pummelled saying that exact same sentence to me earlier instead of watching his enemy.”

“I _do_ see what you mean though, Meta Knight” Jecra chuckled painfully as the pair made their way over to the camp fire to relieve Garlude's worried fretting, “It _does_ hurt.”

 --


	9. When You Have Secured The Area, Make Sure The Enemy Knows It Too

It was nice to finally camp down for the night.

Garlude examined their surroundings; a small open field surrounded on one side by a rising cliff face, and on the others, by an extensive imposing forest.

It had been a hard-won space. When they had arrived, it had been under Nightmare's control and they had been fighting for it most of the evening. Eventually, the demon beasts had been defeated and the stragglers fled. The area around them had been scouted and secured, leaving the trio of warriors feeling both relieved and exhausted.

Still, the defeat of the beasts at least meant that they weren't hiding in the shadows tonight and could have a hot meal.

The mood of the day had lightened immediately and Meta Knight and Jecra had soon begun throwing playful jibes at each other again, leaving Garlude feeling content and relaxed. An increasingly rare feeling these days.

Their soft group discussion was broken suddenly as a demon beast flew out of a nearby tree and landed quite matter-of-factly, next to their camp fire.

It's dizzy appearance and sudden shocked expression, (If a winged-gecko demon could look as such) made it clear the thing had just woken up, and had no idea it was no longer standing in Nightmare's territory.

The stunned silence and consequent stare down lasted far longer than what all of them later thought it should have done.

Garlude growls incredulously across their small fire, “Jecra, I thought you scouted the Northern border!”

Jecra stood in agitation, stooping to grab a stone and hurling it at the demon beast with a sudden howl of annoyance. “Go on! GET!” The beast was so shocked and confused it screeched in pain and fled into the night sky, desperate to get away from these three heavily armed lunatics.

“It's not _my_ fault that thing didn't know we secured the area!” Jecra defended after the thing had left their sight.

Meta Knight just drank his tea, having never had to put it down in the first place (one does not waste the first hot cup of tea one has had for two weeks), deciding it wasn't worth the effort to face palm. 

–


	10. No Matter Which Way You Must March, It Is Always Uphill

“If I never see a mountain again it will be too soon.” Garlude groans loudly, cursing the mission that had deemed they trek to the peak of this barren heap to retrieve some sacred jewel or another. Why not send someone with wings to get it?

Meta Knight holds up his hands in surrender as Garlude suddenly seems to peer at him. “It's too far even for me. I don't want to be here as much as you.”

“Too far?” Garlude's tone turned to a chime of amused disbelief.

The Knight smiled beneath his mask. True, it _wasn’t_ too far, more perhaps, too tiring and risky in such a dangerous area. “Too far.” The Knight returns anyway, seeing the woman’s cocked eyebrow, a tell she knows better. “Speaking of too far, however…” His eyes flash pink in amusement as Garlude glances back at Jecra instead of pressing about the previous subject.

The yellow-haired fighter notices and hurries to catch them up. “Don't tell me you two _aren't_ bored of walking up hill yet?” He challenges as a defence for his lagging.

Garlude snorts. “If Meta Knight can walk up this hill despite usually being able to fly, so can you.”

Jecra slung his arm over the Knight's shoulders. “I never said I couldn't, Garlude, I just don't want too. Haven't you two ever noticed we always seem to be trekking up things?”

Meta Knight found it harder to shrug with Jecra leaning on him, but he still managed it. “It could be worse, you could be walking up this with Pip or Rapid fire.”

Pip was a good guy, just a little naïve and too eager to please everyone. He wasn't a strong fighter and was one of the youngest, but every time he came on a mission with them he had a habit of wandering into danger. Rapid fire was a nickname for Sir Falspar who was a good fighter, but could talk anyone's ear off.

Jecra grinned in agreement, “you know what? I'm suddenly enjoying this trip.”

-


	11. Walking Point = Sniper Bait

Meta Knight would never admit it, but he really hated walking long distances. Even more so if he had to walk to said place because flying would put him under enemy attack.

 _“I need you to meet Yamikage at the forest crossroads.”_ Sir Arthur had told him, something about an important message or something or other the ninja had discovered.

Meta Knight would have been much less reluctant to go if the area wasn't swarming with insect-like demon beasts practically patrolling the sky.

Why can’t the _ninja_ carry this message stealthily to him? Why does a _winged_ Knight have to _walk_ to a concealed _ninja_?

Trekking along this small forest path, _uphill_ , to make things more irritating, was only increasing his uneasiness that something was wrong. Wrong and aggravating.

An hour later though and his instincts had been wrong. Despite the urge to get in the air, the path was seeming like the safer option now, better still, he was only a few minutes from the meeting point.

A rustle in a nearby bush halted his rising opinion of this walking business.

Alert, the Knight drew his blade.

Stalking towards the noise, a sudden flash of light caught his attention and his eyes widened in surprise behind his mask. The Knight shot to the side, avoiding a sudden barrage of shots as he drew closer, his speed throwing off their aim. Making quick work of the creatures, the Knight grumbled to himself “Damn snipers. Damn walking...”

He tilted his head, glancing up the path he had yet to walk down.

“ _Damn ninjas…”_

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this several years ago, and now I re-look at the prompt this isn’t the kind of walking point it means, I don’t know if I knew that then and couldn’t think how to work it in? or if I just thought walking bait? But either way, I think this works.


	12. If You Strap Enough Engines To Something, It Will Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Titled: Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All, however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac even if it is, technically, a form of flying.

“Th-This is a, _ah!..._ A _really_ stupid plan, Jecra!” Meta Knight’s halting complaints didn’t seem to register in Jecra’s brain.

Or maybe they did, Meta Knight considered, they just rolled around in Jecra’s empty head and fell out the other ear.

…Nova, he must be in bad shape if he’s starting to think such things.

The taller fighter was heaving a new set of sparkplugs from the wreckage of a nearby aircraft that had been shot down some weeks before. Wrenching them free, Jecra hurried over to their own equally battered, but much less fried aircraft. They themselves had crashed (or rather, been shot down) a few hours earlier and Jecra had since set about tearing out bits of both engines in a frantic rush to get one working.

Engineering wasn’t a craft that Meta Knight had ever pictured learning, but they were all handy mechanics nowadays. At least, they could handle quick fixes to the bare bones of a craft. Living as a soldier in an interplanetary war, you kind of picked up a thing or two about fixing ships. Meta Knight was better with spaceships than planet bound planes, but he couldn’t really see that well right now at all, so it’s not like he would be much help anyway.

The Knight had even been sketching blue prints recently about a battleship he had in mind.

Call it a hobby of his, it’s not like he’d ever have the resources to build it.

His battleship would be _damn hard_ to shoot down.

“Meta Knight!? Bright Eyes, you better stay focused or so help me I will melt your mask and use it to solder this wreck back together!”

The Knight grumbled, prying open eyes he didn’t remember closing. “Idle th-threats!”

Jecra came crunching over, he’d been at this for the last two hours now, uneasily waiting for the kill shots to come from the sniper vantage points around them. It’s a miracle they haven’t been found yet.

It was a miracle Meta Knight had survived the crash.

They had been returning to base, this small two-seater the last functioning plane of this outpost; the next one a four-day _drive_ away. The Anti-Aircraft Demon Beasts or ACDBs, (which was Pip’s name for them and it had accidentally stuck… much to Jecra’s amusement as it wasn’t even a correct acronym) had been unexpected this far into GSA territory, even worse they had gotten a decent hit in, getting the chain of one of their weapons stuck around one of their propellers.

And Meta Knight had freaking jumped out to fix it. As if that was something people did mid-flight.

Jecra still couldn’t get over the memory of the puff turning to him, handing him his head set with a blasé “hold this,” before launching himself out of the freaking bay door.

No warning. No nothing.

Poof.

No more Meta Knight.

To be fairer to the smaller fighter, it sounded stupider than it really was. The Knight _had_ freed the trapped rotor blades, the plane righting its steep angle with the extra lift. There was easily a tonne of medical and food supplies loaded on this flight, and the outpost would be in dire straits without it.

Jecra had killed one of the attacking beasts with the only weapon the aircraft housed, the remaining beast bellowing angrily. Meta Knight’s wings had been getting one hell of a work out trying to fly fast enough to get back inside the plane, but he’d gotten a hand back on the bay door frame and was reaching for the inside of the plane to close the ramp when the remaining ACDB had hit them with a blast of who knows what.

The plane went down into the treeline, Jecra fighting for a full three minutes to stay airborne. Somewhere in that time there was the sound of Meta Knight hitting the bay door button and the metal screeched closed despite the heavily damaged frame. Jecra hadn’t known what had happened back there when the explosion hit, but Meta Knight never made it back to the cockpit before the plane hit the floor.

It wasn’t until a little later, when Jecra wrenched himself aching from his seat and stumbled down the leaning ship to the ramp, that he saw how battered his companion was. Cut and bruised just about everywhere, the Knight had been out cold. The rough landing no doubt had done more harm than good, but it was then that Jecra understood that his _idiotic_ companion must have intercepted the attack. It hadn’t destroyed the ship because it hadn’t entirely _hit_ the ship in the first place. It had hit something with a much thicker skull.

Jecra would later admit to himself that he hadn’t quite shouted like that at anyone before in his entire life when the Knight groggily came around. Meta Knight’s first words didn’t help: “…Di-did I stop it? I hate walking.”

It took a while for Jecra to shut up again after the yelling started.

“Insubordination.” Meta Knight had managed, with the kind of teasing resignation of someone who knew what they had done was idiotic, but would do it again in a heartbeat if he had to. His eyes had initially deepened to pained orange, before gradually paling to a light yellow, silvering at the edges. Jecra’s heart had somersaulted, because every time Meta Knight’s eyes paled that badly he’d ended up in some form of medical care. And right now, the puff was covered in more cuts and welts than Jecra would have had fabric to stem if he wasn’t surrounded by medical supplies. But still, he was no doctor, and one deep cut on that left wing just _would not stop bleeding_.

Hence the frantic fixer-upper going on.

“N-now who’s not f-focused?” The knight drawled, wincing with the deeper breath his amusement had cost him.

Jecra blinked, before glaring. “This convoy just became a Med-Evac. And I know how much you hate those, but I also now know how much you hate walking, so it’s your lucky day! Because our options are restricted to exactly those two choices.” He paused to finish his adjustments to the new power supplies he had attached from the older wreck. “Unluckily for you, I hate walking too, so Med-Evac it is and you don’t get a say.”

Meta Knight grimaced at the younger man’s cheer of success when their craft powered back up. His head was absolutely killing him, and if Meta Knight could hear him over the enormous bells ringing in his ears, then he was sure any enemies nearby could too. “J-Jecra, you can’t just…just strap another engine on and, and hope.” Moving was unbearable, but the Knight put as much effort in as he could spare without his vision whiting out to try and stagger upright. When he couldn’t do it, he gave up on common sense altogether and forced himself to move, injuries be damned-

His arm is broken, oh his arm is very broken.

The rest of him feels just as glorious.

Oh, and now he can’t see.

Jecra is yelling again.

-

Now it sounds as if Garlude is shouting as well.

His surroundings are different, he must have lost time.

Meta Knight isn’t sure why the woman is bellowing about them crashing a plane in the training ring, and the Knight also doesn’t really know what Jecra has done to the thing to make Garlude’s voice go that shrill, either… But he wishes they could have this argument someplace it won’t cause his pounding head to explode like it’s threatening too.

He must mumble as much, because Sir Falspar’s yelling joins the fray along with that of their resident Chief Medical Officer. The yelling stops abruptly, which is nice, because this damn medical tent is more comfortable than he remembers it being…Not that he remembers how he got into it, but that’s all semantics he doesn’t care about right now.

-

Two days later, the next bout of yelling is directed at his face.

Part of Meta Knight feels guiltily like he deserves it.

Most of him though would do it again in an instant.

If only because he really does hate walking.

 -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the only chapter to actually have been written this year, the rest were written about four years ago.
> 
> Does anyone have any requests/Suggestions?


	13. Weather Ain't Neutral

Rain.

Rain, rain, endless rain.

Garlude is sick of it.

Three hours of it now, and worse still, there is nothing to shelter under for _miles._

Sure, there are rocky outcrops that rise like broken columns every now and then, but none that give any actual cover from this forsaken storm beating down on them. The water is icy, sinking into layers of armour and clothes alike, chilling the skin and making fabrics sticky and heavy.

Garlude hates being wet for anything that isn’t a hot shower. Not that you see many of those in war zones, but still, at least she can choose when to immerse herself in any frigid water in camp. This rain is plain torture.

Her _hair_ is wet. Ugh. Awful.

Jecra looks like a petulant child. At first the rain had bolstered his bored mood, the shift in weather reawakening his attention from the glazed thoughts of marching. Then the rain hadn’t stopped falling.

Now his usually blazing yellow shock of hair is plastered against his head, stray strands sticking to his mask in a chaotic pattern of gold and silver. The shivering is making his armour rattle.

She would be complaining about the sound if hers wasn’t adding to the noise.

When they reach the next rock tower, the miserable pair slump down at it’s base. If that damn wind wasn’t blowing the rain every which way, they could have hidden out in the sheltered side, but alas, when was the Galaxy ever that kind to them?

Meta Knight had earlier tried to lighten their dour complaints by voicing that at least Nightmare’s forces would be suffering similarly; but the pair had mainly glared and stomped onwards. Garlude had had to put up with Jecra’s bitter complaints that the weather was accepting Nightmare’s bribes to freeze them to death for a full half-hour before that rant lost its steam.

Meta Knight hadn’t tried again.

It’s not as if Meta Knight likes being wet anymore than they did, Garlude reluctantly admits to herself as she and Jecra huddle beneath the stone tower. The Knight himself was a foot or so away from the stone face, looking skywards for who-knew-what.

The Puffball didn’t like being wet at all. But he also didn’t _feel_ the cold as badly as they did.

Meta Knight’s kind were resilient, long-lived, and hardy to both damage and environmental shifts. It was one of the reasons they made such fearsome warriors.

But it was _damn_ irritating if you were stuck here shivering next to him.

It’s not something Garlude is proud of, after all, just because he’s resilient to this cold, that’s not to say he’s impervious. Eventually this constant soaking may break even his admirable resilience.

Sighing to herself, Garlude lets Jecra press against her side, trying to conserve heat. His shield had made a good umbrella for him for a while, but inevitably the weight of it had proved too tiring for such a long-winded storm and eventually he had to resign himself to getting wet. Besides, the wind was blowing the stuff everywhere, most of him was wet long before he gave up.

A particularly fat droplet ran down her spine and the women shivered harder. Stupid Nightmare; she bets those damn Demon Beasts are having a freaking tropical heatwave wherever the heck their base is out here in this rapidly forming lake. Maybe Jecra is right, maybe the weather isn’t neutral, maybe it does accept bribes.

Maybe it’ll listen to some threats, then.

Absurd as it is, Garlude bowed her head and resolved to list as many obscene threats as she could think of for a creature capable of stopping this damn rain. It was harder than she had anticipated, what harmed the weather? What could stop this _freezing_ constant onslaught of awful wet shrapnel?

What Could-

Wait a minute.

Has it stopped?

The woman tries to stop her teeth chattering as she lifts her head, droplets rolling off her chin. Jecra, beside her, does the same.

No. It’s still raining.

But Meta Knight has moved. Lost in her thoughts about revenge against a fictional weather master, Garlude hadn’t heard the puffball move. He’s walked a step or two closer to complete their triangle, close enough that she wouldn’t have to stretch her arm to touch him.

The rain runs in rivers down the leathery skin of his wings, the limbs unfurled half-open above the two other Star Warriors against the stone. It’s not entirely perfect, the wind getting the occasional droplet in, but most is blocked by the living weather-guard and Garlude can’t quite stop herself from slumping in relief for the reprieve.

Jecra laughs quietly from her other side, swiping the water from his face and revelling in the way it isn’t immediately replaced.

Meta Knight is getting all the wetter for keeping the other two dry, his wings revealed robs him of his cape to shelter under, but the slight rose tinge around the edges of his eyes give away what his silence does not. He knows they are feeling it worse than him, and despite his often (and worryingly increasingly) distrustful behaviour of new warriors, Garlude knows he is a Mother Hen of those he cares about. Even if he were to claim otherwise.

If he gets sick for this though, Garlude is going to kick his ass.

After all, she’s a Mother Hen too.

-


End file.
